A Peaceful Afternoon Outting...

YEAH RIGHT! Does such a thing really exist when you're with toddlers? A daily question often lingers in my head...to leave the house or to not leave the house...with my children of course. Because you see, I can either go through the excrutiating effort of herding them into the tub, ironing clothes, combing out tangled hair while the child screams, find a way to bathe and dress myself with child or children hanging from my legs, manage to find everyone's socks and shoes, pack the diaper bag which usually involves disposing of rotten bananas or green beans and stinky day old juice...that has leaked...coral the children into the car while taking dog out to potty, threaten them with every inch of their lives to GET IN THEIR SEATS so I can buckle them in, then turn up the A/C in the car full blast because at this point I am sweating profusely the little amount of makeup I managed to get on my face, all to get somewhere and growl and snarl at them the entire time because by golly, they're going to behave! Oh and let's not forget, in the amount of time it has taken to get everyone bathed and dressed and out of the house, it's time to eat yet another meal! So then you have to ponder the question of, so do we stay home and eat lunch and THEN leave, or do I get them out of the house while they're dressed and fresh and in a good mood and eat on the road? It's all so complicated. Which is why I don't usually go anywhere unless I have to. And on the days that I do have to be somewhere in the mornings, I don't ever want to go home because who would want to waste a nice bath with ironed clothes and freshly groomed children? I mean, if it's already done, let's make the most of the effort that went into it!

On the other hand, staying home and never leaving the house also results in a very frazzled mommy because I end up cleaning the same 1500 sq feet over and over and over again repeatedly! So I have the choice of getting the children out of the house, which I'm quite certain is the equivalent of training for a marathon and mommy being frazzled and on edge by the time it's all over, or staying home cleaning the house non-stop and mommy being frazzled and on edge by the time it's all over....hmmmm....

So today, I chose the outting. It started out to be not so bad. We made it out of the house by noon. ish. I opted for the lunch on the road scenario. I took the girls to get their hair cut and we grabbed a quick bite to eat. Then I was planning to make a pit stop at the house to go potty and head to Walmart. But Lexi announced that she had to go potty too. And when we all came in to go potty, I somehow knew it would take an act of God to get us all back into the car again! And it did! THREE HOURS LATER, we were finally back on the road and headed to Walmart, list in hand. And let's just say that trip to Walmart just might have landed me on the news. Let's see, Ashton slid herself into the bottom shelf in the home decor isle. Lexi tried to pilfer some Polly Pockets in her pocket, where else? Elmo shelf liner thought he was coming home with me. Not sure who put THAT in the basket! And I'm pretty sure I said 100 times or more, "WHAT PART OF 'HOLD ON TO THE BASKET' DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND????!!!!!"

But then, some divine intervention occured y'all! Sweet Jesus of Heaven and Earth! I was walking past a display of Betty Crocker Sweet Potato Casserole in a box and one magically fell off the top row and into my basket. Well, actually it wasn't magical. It was Ashton. She knocked over something on the bottom shelf, which in turn caused a chain reaction, thus one landing into my basket. Call it what you will, IT WAS FATE! "Every good and perfect gift is from above." James 1:17. And I'm quite sure a member of my family in a Tennessee cemetary is doing somersaults in their grave right this very second at the mere thought of "sweet potato casserole in a box".

Oh well. The perfect ending to a not so perfect outting!