Monday, December 3, 2007

Holiness

Or should I say HOLEYNESS...If you're really excited about the pastor's wife FINALLY posting a spiritually related blog, I'm sorry to disappoint. This has nothing to do with anything spiritual, except for how Heavenly a good pair of granny panties can be!

Back up, YES, I WEAR GRANNY PANTIES! Okay? And I LOVE them! They're SO comfortable. It all started with my first pregnancy and I just never looked back. I never knew such comfort existed. You should try them. Really! (And for the record, my husband thinks they're sexy!) You watch, one day someone will tell Victoria this secret!

Okay, so onto "holeyness". Over the years, usually around, oh, December 25th, Santa makes his annual trip to the good ol' vanity fair outlet in order to add to my granny panty collection and I say "add to" because I can't ever seem to throw any of them away. I just ADD TO the panty drawer. Granted, 3/4 of them are hanging on BY A THREAD, but you see, by having, say, 14 pairs, one does not have to do nearly as much laundry. You catch my drift??? And I bathe twice a day (because cleanliness is next to Godliness), so you do the math!

Well, we now have an "issue" in this household because my dearly beloved has taken it upon himself to DISPOSE of my holey panties. He INSISTED on doing the laundry this weekend, and who am I to argue with such a plea, so I sat on the couch and watched football, all the while he was going through my panties, with alterier motives I have now discovered! And today when I went through the garbage dumpster (LONG STORY, I was in search of something else) I noticed there were over HALF of my panties IN THE DUMPSTER!!!!

Now, this has posed a serious threat to my standard of living, I tell you. Do you know what this means? It's cataclismic in nature! I NOW HAVE TO DO LAUNDRY! Like every day!

So Santa, dear Santa, PLEASE, I beg of you, bring me some new granny panties! And put Cary on your naughty list!

8 comments:

Ashley said...

Ok, I will take my husband offering to do laundry any day over even HAVING panties. I can easily run to wal-mart and pick some up if need be!!

I have some panties hanging on by a thread but I just love them too much to get rid of them. However, my dog knows which ones are my favorite and eats them EVERY TIME. He is a great dog too, doesn't chew on anything EXCEPT my favorite pair of panties at the time! He's not stupid, he's smart!

Kathryn Evans said...

Boys!!! Sounds like an invitation to run out and buy more panties...FAST!!!

I love reading your blog. It is so funny! I have become addicted. I now have to check about 5 blogs everyday.

Stephanie said...

I hear ya! I used to have my favorite Outlet Mall panties too, Maidenform- I almost forgot the name. But once I got pregnant with Lauren, it has been maternity panties all the way! And I have holes too because when you are too pregnant to bend over and pull them back up, you sort of hook your finger down and grab the elastic and 3 years later...a hole! Thanks for the laugh!

Ashley said...

Thanks for the help! I will be needing to use some of those tips. Ty is 6 so he will need a little more convincing I'm sure. I just don't think I'm ready for them not to believe! Trust me, if I could still believe, I would! It's more fun that way! hmmm...the ones who don't believe, he doesn't bring presents to?? I'll have to use that one for sure!

Anonymous said...

LOL!!! I cannot believe you tell the world that you wear granny panties. You are too funny! Comfort ranks right up there next to cleanliness.

Santa, please bring this girl some replacements, God forbid that she has to do laundry any more often than she does.

Panty fairy

Anonymous said...

You MUST check out the Jockey outlet on 535 - good buys - oh and I guess I must go on the naughty list - I did this to my beloved. but since I know Santa personally I think he would have allowed it - this time.

The Phams said...

I bet I know what your getting for Christmas! :) I think it's sweet that he cares enough to help you with the house and your every 15 year underwear cleaning spree! How sweet! But tell him to get his hands out of your drawers. Okay, that didn't sound right, but you know what I mean! :)

Anonymous said...

funny! should I bring a victoria secrets gift card when i come? just kidding, but it won't be long and we will be there. our kids still don't know.