FREAKS LIVE HERE

So we have these lovely little critters in our house called TERMITES! The picture above is of termite swarmers, which is what is visible in our home. Do you have goosebumps just looking at them or what? Okay ya'll, so who knew I'd move to Florida and become an ENTOMOLOGIST (for those of you who graduated from the University of Texas, an entomologist is one who studies bugs). Teeheeheee...anyways, back to the bugs. So now for a quick lesson in termite lingo cause I'm WAY more of an expert now than I ever wanted to be. There are subterranean termites which you never see that eat the wood under your house if you have wood, and there are dry wood termites which can live anywhere there is wood, in any part of your home. We have the drywood kind. By the time you see the swarmers (the picture above) you've had a colony for 5-7 FREAKIN YEARS....ooooooo, yucky! So this is swarming season (May and June) and the swarmers leave the colony to establish new colonies. And by the way, they don't just eat WOOD, they eat cellulose. So like furniture, mattresses, PAPER TOWELS (which is their food of choice in my kitchen!) Anyways, so Terminex came out and the guy immediately said we had to tent the house and have the Vikane gas, which kills EVERYTHING, lizards, roaches, plants, any living thing in or touching your home. Quite expensive, but it's the only guarantee. I don't know why, but when I see a termite treated house that's tented, all I can think of is that scene from E.T. where the guys are searching the house in gas masks and there's a plastic covering over the outside of the house. Does anyone else remember that or am I totally dating myself? You might as well just put up a sign in the yard that says, "FREAKS LIVE HERE!" Now, I want the critters dead, but the gas thing scares the beegeebees outta me. When a state inspector has to come to your house in a gas mask and test each room with a Geiger counter, that's scary! The process takes 3 days and all pets, food, meds, spices, plants, and baby mattresses must be removed from the house. Anyways, I just didn't feel at peace with the whole gas thing, so I started researching its effects and it was quite alarming. The gas will still be released from wool fibers (like furniture) for up to 40 days in your home, though not necessarily at a toxic level. But still! So then the Orkin man came and said, "You don't need gas, we can do the liquid treatment. It's safe, quick, and you can stay in the house while we do it!" GREAT, I thought! No freaky tent or men in gas masks. And then I had one final company come out for an estimate and he also said we really needed to tent the place and do the gas. Apparently the liquid form is a "spot treatment" and it doesn't necessarily get every colony. It's impossible because they are hidden in places that liquids can't go but the gas permeates everything. So we're now left with a big decision to make. Do we use very expensive toxic gas that will dissipate quickly or do we use less expensive lethal chemicals that stay in our house forever?!!!? The church is paying for this...THANK HEAVENS because it's VERY expensive. So you see our dilemma?