So in case you missed it on facebook...

I kind of sort of maybe just a little teeny tiny itty bitty bit perhaps maybe might be thinking that I want another baby. It all started about a month ago. Up till then, it was NO WAY, NO HOW, NO CHANCE, AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN! And then I don't know what happened, but all the sudden my heart began to change and there would just be these little longings here and there. It took me about 3 weeks to get up the guts to tell my husband. And he responded exactly like I knew he would...."WHAT are YOU smokin?" I guess I should explain that we always wanted three kids but somewhere during the midnight hours of sleeplessness and poop and wet sheets that needed to be changed at 3 a.m. and the thought that our bank account could nearly double if I went back to work full time we finally settled on the fact that maybe just 2 lil darlins wasn't such a bad plan after all. And that was that. It was settled. No more kids! In less than 2 years, I could go back to work and all would be well in the universe. But I can't help these feelings that have overcome me lately. And I will be 35 soon. "I ain't no spring chicken," as my grandmother would say. But my husband is still in denial that I ever even mentioned the hint of a possibility of another. Which means, God would have to do a heavy duty overhaulin of a work on his heart if this is meant to be. We do serve a God who is in the miracle business thankfully. And I am on the pill. I call it my happy pill. For a reason. If I stop taking it....um....I won't be happy if you catch my drift. It keeps me hormonally sane. Whew...those 4 days of placebo pills at the end of the month are just about enough to put me over the edge. And then when I think about the finances and how we are SO stinkin close to financial bliss, it just makes my head spin to think of starting over with a newborn and FIVE MORE YEARS of being at home! I do work part time. But my teaching salary in Texas was more than three times what I currently make.

However, I once heard a very wise woman whom I adore (Lisa Welchel) say, "When making a difficult decision, take finances and fear out of the equation." Because we do serve a mighty God who makes things happen in His way and if this is His will, He will continue to provide for us faithfully. And I guess this also means I should go back on Weight Watchers so I can LOSE weight BEFORE I gain it! Makes perfect sense doesn't it? Well, I mean, just in case. You know.